No one gets embarrassed dancing at a wedding party. This lack of self-consciousness is a rare phenomenon that science has not been able to decode. As part of extensive military research, top neuroscientists have tried to harness this “losing your mind” and fearless dancing for use in bravery studies. Nothing conclusive yet.
What we do know is that there are certain songs that tend to have more power over people than others and these are being studied quite closely. What we learn from these hypnotic and posterior shaking beauties may unlock the secrets to set free the wallflowers of tomorrow. Stay tuned for further testing.
- “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer: This 80’s classic grabs your attention with one word, “STOP.” This is immediately followed with “hammertime” and a weird sideways shuffle.
- “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi: Dance floor mavericks, regardless of the length of their hair, often imitate these long haired rockers of yore and, regardless of their singing ability, will shout to the sky that “oohhh, we’re half way there.”
- “Everybody Dance Now” by C+C Music Factory: The electronic signature of this tune seems to instantly paralyze the audience as they take a split second to comprehend that, “Everybody actually HAS to dance now.” Many an arm have been pulled from the socket of guests who were unsuspecting of their partner’s need to dance to this song.
- “Pony” by Ginuwine: Of all the guilty pleasures, this tune is the most direct in its request for the listener to “jump on it” and “ride it.” Originally written as an act in a Shakespearean play, it is now used as a crude way for determining the real desires of your dance partner
- “The Sign” by Ace of Base: At the writing of this post, there have been 1,003 wedding related accidents that this song has been directly responsible for. This is mainly due to groups of women placing their shoes in the center of a circle, causing tripping hazards while they sang in each other’s faces.
- “Billie Jean” – Michael Jackson: A solution to the age old question of “where is my crotch?” This lovely ditty allows male partygoers to help others by raising one arm to the side and quickly answering the crotch question. Often imitated, never duplicated. And just to be clear, only 10% of males can actually hit the note “She thinks I am the one.” Stop trying. PS the kid actually may be your son.
- “Thrift Shop” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Feat. Wanz: A more recent addition to the list, this anti-establishment rally cry will help you understand a bargain. If anyone tells you that your fur coat looks cheap, simply tell them that “s***, it was 99 cents.” And then dance very aggressively. It will create an instant bond.
- “Sweet Caroline” – Neil Diamond: A song originally invented as a psychological marketing experiment by the makers of Purell, this classic melody encourages listeners to first reach out, then touch themselves, then touch each other. A petri dish’s best friend. Bah, bah, bah indeed.
- “I Gotta Feeling” – Black Eyed Peas: Confusingly, this literary accomplishment is requested typically when the party is in full swing. Perhaps it’s to create a sense of false accomplishment in the party-goers as they simply proclaim through the lyrics a feeling that the evening will be a success. Everybody wins.
- “Don’t Stop Believin’” – Journey: When intelligent life from other planets look to Earth for clues about rituals, they will most likely assume that this song was part of educational curriculum and that it essentially was an anthem for the past decade. They will wonder why small town boys and girls feel as though the world is lonely, especially when the humans all sing about them.
- “Crazy in Love” – Beyonce: Uh oh, uh oh, clear the dance floor. You are about to see some fierce walking and flailing handbags. Gentlemen, perhaps sit this one out. You can rap the Jay Z part quietly to each other over a beer.
As science continues to unravel the mysteries of the mental and emotional impact of these wedding party songs, there is one tune that will ever remain shrouded in secrecy. No other song in history has hypnotized an audience, had them dance in unison, and in a way they would never do anywhere but a wedding.
I am referring of course to the Chicken Dance. We will never know what the government plans to do with this song, but be prepared for anything. You are not immune to its effects.
And of course, we believe that music makes the wedding. If you are looking to bring a young, fun, and professional DJ to yours, you are in the right place. Contact us to learn more about our services and promotional packages.